Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Beatrix asks: I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday and told him why, yet he's messaging me on Facebook saying he's confused?

Men, I think, don?t get much out of talk. We understand things physically. So when you kiss us, touch us, make love to us, we understand you love us. When you talk to us, well, it says something, but if it goes against your actions, it doesn?t make sense.

Women, I have found, place much more emphasis on words. You believe words more than you believe actions. A guy can treat you like shit, but if he tells you he loves you, over and over, you seem to believe that for an awful lot longer than a man ever would believe it. Conversely, if we don?t tell you we love you, no matter what we do, you don?t believe we love you. You need words.

So these are the different love ?languages? of men and women.

Your problem is that you think he is speaking your language and he isn?t. He is looking what you do. And what you do is love him. In this case, you even tell us you love him very much. He sees this and does not pay attention to your words, because your words are lying. Not deliberately, mind you, but they don?t say the same story as your body does.

If you want him to break up with you, you have to stop loving him. You have to get in a fight and make him feel bad. You have to convince him this is the end. Right now, I doubt if you can do that, because you still love him.

What I think you are doing, and probably not consciously, is trying to stir the pot a little so you can solve this long distance problem. I don?t believe you want to break up, really. I think that subconsciously, you are hoping that by saying you want to break up, you will motivate him to do something to solve the distance issue. Because, let?s face it, isn?t that what you really want?

Source: http://www.fluther.com/147903/i-broke-up-with-my-boyfriend-yesterday-and-told-him-why/

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